So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize