My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
