it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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