Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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