I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
