All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
