apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
