I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
