You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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