this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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