Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
