is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
