hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
