Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
