You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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