forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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