If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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