every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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