How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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