i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
