That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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