before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize