Do you still have your period?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
