On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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