I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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