Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
