all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
