It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
