Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
