but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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