I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
