You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
