If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
