is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
