I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
