we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
my poor anus
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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