Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize