we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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