Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Girls should come with a carfax report
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
