Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
