we're blogging at a bar
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
we should paint friendship bongs
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