sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
