YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize