So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
