well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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