I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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