Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
