I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
