There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
