everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
