I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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