What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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