I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize