At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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