dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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