Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
