The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
