We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
