Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
