I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
