I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
