question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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