I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
