He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
