You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
it was like eating out sand paper
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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