If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
